The wind blows softly through my hair, blowing it off my
face. I smile to myself. It feels good now it’s grown back. Better than the
crew cut of just six months ago. The shingle digs in a little but I jiggle my
bottom and it settles into a comfortable hollow. I watch as the sun slowly
starts its descent towards the horizon.
The salt air tingles on my lips and the fresh sea air fills
my nostrils. No dank smelling seaweed here. Each day the sea rushes in and
cleanses the shingle beach.
Children call out in the distance but I sit too far away
from the sandy strip and the amusements for them to be a bother.
How many times have I sat here like this? Watching the sea.
The ebb and flow. Watching the windsurfers, the paddle boarders and further out
the jet skiers. On the horizon a ship steams along. I assume a cargo ship bound
for the Americas; I am too far down the coast for it to be a cross channel
ferry.
I remember the last time we were here. You pushed me up the
ramp, struggled, and gasped for air. But you persevered and got me to the sea
wall. I was losing weight but the NHS don’t lend out modern light weight
wheelchairs. You wrapped an old tartan blanket around my legs and tucked me in
tight. The next thing I remember was you beside me, panting and dripping ice
cream on my arm. You had run all the way to the stand and back. We sat watching
the sea, eating our ice creams. The wind whipping round and clouds racing
overhead. Winter by the sea, my favourite time.
And now I am back. I beat it. I fought it. We fought it. I
couldn’t have done it without you. Always there to hold my hand, to make me
feel better.
Why couldn’t I do the same for you? Why did you get a chance
to fight? Were you too tired after my fight? Did you lose concentration or was
it the other guy? They never said. I never asked.
And so now I sit here. Alone. Watching the sea.
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